Toshaakpa

The smoke from the oven made the house quite suffocating yet the heat from the fire was so warm that we can wait still. Our house, lighted by kerosene lamp seems much brighter than the brightest with the happy people all around. Our mother just sat beside the oven and chanted the mantra. As usual, all five of us waited passionately for our father to turn up with toshaakpa; literally it means left over food but for us it smells different and tastes different. Our father is kind and gentle. He is nicknamed shentongla by our mother. We were just playing, laughing and yelling at each other without any reason. It was a nice time then.

My brother Kuenga Phuntsho, a humourous and yet serious guy, was nicknamed Kangbula, my eldest sister Tshogay Dema, hardworking and active but does the work absent-mindedly, she is nicknamed Ngangpa, then youngest sister Dechen Peldon; nicknamed Banthangmo is slow-type yet does the things in much organized way. My little brother, the youngest of all is quite ill-tempered; once he nearly chopped me with the sickle. His nickname is Rulungkai. I am the second eldest of all. I am considered too rough then but did my work in best possible way. I was nicknamed Gagpalengkong.  We were six in total but my eldest brother; said to be handsome and intelligent couldn’t make it, he expired at an early age. My mother narrates that it was such a hard time to lose someone dear. 

We were born relatives but we played and talked like friends. We teased with nicknames, fought, cried and yet we were together enjoying life to the fullest. Though tiresome works during day bothered us, the popcorn that we enjoy together popped our life out of boredom. 

My mother would tell us that she is happy to have you all around but one day you all will leave. She will narrate how things were difficult then when she raised us. She also told how happy she was when she had her child-a baby boy but she said her happiness was short-lived; he died at an early age. She told that she is very lucky to have such a wonderful husband; under whom she suffered less compared to others. She also told us that, five of us should be friendly at all times to come and friendliness is the source of happiness.  As usual we talked a lot that evening too.

My mother is religious-minded like my father and her character is much similar to my eldest sister. My father use to call her Shingjarmay as her nickname.

In mean time, my father arrived. My youngest brother as we did will firstly take the bag of my father. We all will be sitted around our father as five disciples’ sitted around Buddha. Now our much awaited toshaakpa has arrived. Everybody will be with a plate and my father will just divide his toshaakpa starting from the youngest. My brother Kuenga and I will be very active then, while my father was dividing toshaakpa, we will hide the beefpaa and sweets. After the division is done, my father will search for the beefpaa to be divided but to his amazement, it will be lost. He would continue to search while my brother and I will do the eye-talk and smile to each other. My father would smell fishy then will instruct us to give back. We would give back but our sisters and brothers will continue to blame us. 

So such is the life when our father arrives. We use to talk and have our toshaakpa. After having the toshaakpa, handwashing had been a good habit which I have developed from a tender age. Our father will insist all of us to wash our hands even if we eat with the spoon. We wash our hands and apply locally produced ointment called Shingmar.

With kerosene lamp still on, we will be talking many things, my father will talk about the happenings during the ritual. We will be listening so passionately. As I have always dreamed, I would at times imagine myself performing ritual and having all those fried cheese and beefpaa. We also tell our father about what we did during the day. Then after that like any other optimistic human beings, we plan for the next day. We will then be off to bed with the thought of new trick to play with the next toshaakpa.

Hot news from Bhutan about youth

When we are smiling to each other in the class our professor tells that “Yea, I know Bhutan is a happy country”. Back at Bhutan many sad things are happening. It was not less than a month after I was placed at one of the newly established university in India that I heard many unpleasant things from Bhutan. So I decided to write this article thinking that it might do some good both to the parents and youth.

I tried my best not to ponder upon darker side of the news yet my conscious mind didn’t allow me. More often I realize how short our life is and yet there are many in Bhutan who takes their own life.  I was very sad when I left Bhutan; leaving my wife and children back. I can clearly visualize how my elder daughter was running here and there, amazed by the scene of plane take off but knowing not that her father is leaving.  I became sadder after hearing that numbers of youth are taking their own life. If this happens in this trend Bhutan at 2020 will be a different Bhutan.  

Today’s youth can do lots of things. They are bright, smart and energetic. Rather than committing suicide, one can resort to many activities which are politically sound, socially beneficial and morally right.  If they have problems, they should share, inform or write. When someone can decide to take one’s own life, I think one can decide many bigger things in life. Rather than committing suicide, one can try coping with the suicidal thoughts.

So I have following steps compiled to cope with suicidal thoughts, thinking it will help all. 

Coping with suicidal thoughts: the first steps

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: "I will wait 24 hours and won't do anything drastic during that time." Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

Step #4: Take hope – people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Step #5: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

(Source: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm)

Bhutan is country where people help each other in times of need. Seek help, you will always be helped. Let Bhutan be free of suicide. I personally feel very sad while someone dies untimely.  Laugh a lot and enjoy your life. Enjoying life doesn’t necessarily mean by drinking and doing drugs. There are many ways. One can Play games, enjoy jokes and know how to joke and be funny. One shouldn’t take things too seriously in life but that doesn’t mean that one can take it for granted. Though many things in life are important, most of them are not urgent. Be flexible, things can be postponed and life becomes comfortable. Time can be stretched.

You are already one and you can become a bigger one. Be happy and live happily.

ARE THEY TEACHERS?

                                    

This article is written not to hurt anybody’s sentiment and by chance it hurts, take it for granted for you may not be right person to get hurt. Everywhere, everybody in this world expect teachers to be a perfect person but then…

“……on July 31, 2008, the Thimphu court heard a case where a 30 year old teacher sexually harassed and beat up a 10 years old student on May 31^st. The crime was done in daylight  inside…..”

           

The above article was taken from Bhutan times dated 14 June, 2009. Does it mean that media is getting active or is it teacher who is getting active and wild? I am sure that teachers cannot be perfect but on the other hand they cannot be imperfect too. 

In the past the boat of education seemed sailing peacefully and teachers were respected and regarded highly by few educated for gearing the boat towards right direction. Today, many more watched the crew and listened carefully to the story of education department which made all the difference; everybody started to point fingers at the teachers then. Few teachers started to become wild. I wondered whether it is rejuvenation of their internal system or the change in education system. 

We are crews. Crews can be good and bad; drunkards and drug addicts, rapists and robber, killer and kidnappers, scoundrel and smugglers…And on the other hand there will crews who are kind, caring, loving and deals with the human touch. I being one of the crew did some situation analysis and found that teaching profession as said to be noble is not going to be noble until we are noble and take the teaching career nobly. Getting wild is not the best solution. We should change for the good cause with the changing time.

Teachers have great power and we should know that great power comes with great responsibility. We cannot go that far with our power. There are certain boundaries. I joined the crew just recently and found that it is really a blissful career but whenever news is read with the teachers raping students, it hurts me a lot. I start to hate being on the education boat for I too share certain shame and blame. At times I feel that I am playing the wrong game with those bad players. But I have reasons to feel proud too. Looking at the greener side always gave me hope and strength.

In the far-flung areas, despite lack of resources, many teachers work tirelessly and wholeheartedly. Thanks for that. They are the ones who knew that great teachers like Lord Buddha and Guru Padmasambhava didn’t do bachelors in education and didn’t attain enlightenment in the science lab or computer lab. They use every second and everything for the benefit of the student and nation at large.  

As a student I have always served the nation in my small ways by putting off the lights and water taps when not in use and now as a teacher, I have a dream and I am going to work smartly in line with the fulfilment of His Majesty, Fourth King’s Vision and Mission. I can do it.

Lastly to all the teachers in Bhutan; “LIFE IS NOT CONSISTS OF HOLDING GOOD CARDS BUT IT IS HOW YOU PLAY WITH THAT YOU HOLD.” I feel few teachers in Bhutan need to play safe, so that our nation is in safe hands of safe people.  

One school, one teacher

The day was bright sunny day. Sitting on a rock, Jigme hummed his favourite tune. Everyday, he sat there for hours, as if in anticipation of someone dear to him, someone he lost. Life in a remote community strange.

After graduating from college, Jigme opted to become a teacher. His first placement was in one of the remotest school in the country. Since then, the rock served as his favourite spot.

One time while playing Rinchen Namgay’s “Blta na mi gi ma mthong la moi ryab” on his cell phone, reposing on the rock, he decided to make a phone call to his family back home. Interrupting the song in the middle, he dialed the number. It was impossible to get connected.

As dusk approached, he moved to his room, puts on the light and suddenly light goes off due to continues rain. Silent dark creeps in slowly to give him usual nightmare. He lights the candle. Innocent crickets, moths, cockroaches and many other insects, which gets attracted towards light gets burned and thus reminds him about the fear factor that he watched with his friends while he was at college. Many trivial things matters a lot. Yet he has long way to go and lot to do before he sleeps.

He prepares his dinner, which reminds him about the bad picnic day with his friends. After having dinner he starts to collect insects attracted by his candle to teach his children because tomorrow his lesson is on insects and that’s how teaching aids are arranged. By then it is almost midnight. He clicks through his cell phone to watch family photos. Smiling and crying. He talks to his mother, sisters, brothers and friends in the photo because he has no one to talk to. He takes a closer look at his father’s photo; who passed away long time back. He takes the photo close to his heart and then cries “father, you once told me to study hard and be a doctor but today am not, I am teacher. I couldn’t make your promise. Forgive me.”

Then he puts on his radio to listen to the latest news because newspapers come with only outdated news. That’s charm of remoteness. After much tuning, when he gets the frequency, he hears Sonam Yeshey singing Mnga’ bdag rgyal po, followed by his majesty’s speech “ Future of our country lies in the hands of our children”, instantly he asks himself, in whose hand then lies the future of our children? Definitely, it is in the hands of teacher. Future of our children should be bright to ensure the bright future for Bhutan. Thus, he continued working on the plans for tomorrow till midnight.

The day then begins as old as it is to end in a similar way as the previous day with the similar faces in a same old place. That’s life of a solitary teacher of remote school. He thinks that ‘One nation, one people’ is fine but ‘ONE TEACHER, ONE SCHOOL’ is so tough but rewarding at the end.